he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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