...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
