Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
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