Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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