Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
