problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
