Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
