real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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