Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
