i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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