what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
