I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
