once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
