That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize