i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
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