you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
