So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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