She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize