you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
