how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I pour the whiskey from now on
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
