we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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