in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Panties = found
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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