It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize