Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
