i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
