Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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