I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
