Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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