Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize