Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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