No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
