last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
