would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
