We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
