yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize