well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I got her a Nickelback box set.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
