my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize