Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
