"it" just moved
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
