We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
