No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
