He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
