is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
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