What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I won't apologize to a one balled man
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
