I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
