Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
