My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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