We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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