Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race

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(810): View more from Michigan

Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.

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(512): View more from Texas

I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.

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(916): View more from California

I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.

Fav 5 3660 1021
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?

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(402): View more from Nebraska

What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?

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(614): View more from Ohio

Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.

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(515): View more from Iowa

Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too

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(303): View more from Colorado

I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.

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