Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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