I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
