We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
