it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize