Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
