How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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