I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
