I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Sober January is a disaster.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
