He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
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