I wanna bring you to show and tell
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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