I got chris browned last night
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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