I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
