she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
