I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
