He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
