She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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