I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
