Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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