I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
sex in a hospital.. check
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
