I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize