Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
