u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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