why didn't you poke me back
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
