I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Small penises have feelings too.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
