You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
