I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize