then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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