I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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