wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
