It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
