Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize