omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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